Parents, You are doing a great job!
Some may believe that being home more means we have more free time.
Well, speaking from my own experience, that it is far from the truth.
Especially since we’ve all been stuck at home, parents have been juggling so much and actually have less free time than before. I’m sure many will agree that you have NO time for yourself.
Let me first say, it has not been easy, but YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!
Some days you may feel like the super parent, feeling great about being productive, stayed calm and collected throughout the day.
Other days you may feel quite the contrary, feeling guilty for losing your cool and yelling at your kids, while getting hardly any work done.
This does not at all mean that you are a bad parent. We are all human, it happens, be kind and forgiving to yourself and try again tomorrow.
We all need words of encouragements and boosting to keep us going.
Here are 5 tips on how to refresh, rejuvenate and keep propelling yourself without constantly being exhausted and feeling like you have nothing left to give.
1. Treat yourself
First and foremost, don’t forget to treat yourself often. This truly can be anything you enjoy.
Here are some of the things you can do even when the kids are around:
For a book lover:
If you are an avid reader, have a time in your day to read for 20 minutes. You can sneak in this time while kids are playing independently, in zoom or watching TV.
Go get coffee:
You can go for a little drive with the kids and grab yourself a tasty beverage!
Drive around with the music playing and the windows down so you and your kids can enjoy some fresh air adventure while escaping your confinement.
Aromatherapy:
Aromatherapy can be done so easily at home now, with so many essential oils and diffusers available. You can create a relaxing space in an instant simply by diffusing or blending your favorite flagrances.
Visit virtual museums:
Since the stay home order has been released last spring, many museums began offering virtual tours.
Escape from your busy reality and indulge in some culture and education right from your living room.
Take a walk:
It’s an easy rejuvenating activity that allows fresh air for everyone while exerting kid’s energy and regain your focus.
2. Find alone time
What I mentioned above are ways you can treat yourself even when you have your kids with you.
It is important though that we all find some alone time and focus not on others but solely on you. In this no-one-ever-leaves-the-house environment, this one can be unusually challenging.
How do you create alone time in your day?
Spend a few minutes in your car:
Just sit in your car, recline your seat, unplug, and enjoy silence or turn on your favorite music.
Set some morning time alone:
Wake up a little earlier, and spend a brief moment doing what relaxes you.
This could be reading, meditating, working out or drinking a hot cup of coffee or tea while enjoying a peaceful silence and giving thanks for another day.
You don’t have to look too hard to discover ways to sneak in some alone time.
Remember, you are not being selfish by wanting and creating alone time for you. Trust, we all need it and you deserve it.
3. Set boundaries
Whether you are treating yourself or finding alone time, neither is possible unless you set some boundaries with your family members.
Set simple and clear expectations and stay consistent with those rules.
A personal example I enjoy is my early morning hour on my elliptical machine. I wake up before anyone else and get my workout in. My kids usually wake up while I’m in the middle of “my time”.
When I first began making this a habit over a year ago, they requested for my attention and wanted me to sit and play with them.
I made it clear that it was mommy’s time to exercise, and I stuck with it.
Now their routine has evolved to waking up, grabbing a few books and reading until I’m done -- completely content and now, with no fuss.
4. Catch yourself being good!
I always tell parents to praise kids whenever they catch their kids being good.
Sometimes as parents we are good at noticing what our kids are doing wrong but not praise them enough for doing many things right.
Perhaps we are just as harsh or even more critical of ourselves.
These are unprecedented times and we’re all figuring out how to handle and adapt to everything on a daily basis.
Go easy on yourself. Appreciate the good in yourself and your parenting.
5. Don’t let go of what keeps you sane
What is that one thing you love and keeps you in balance?
A good movie? Staying on healthy diet? It could also be reading, doing your nails, exercising, cooking, binge watching your favorite tv series, etc. Let’s not forget getting 8 hours or however long hours of slumber you need to feel rested and refreshed.
Anything that suits you, don’t give it up!
Responsibilities have unfairly increased since this pandemic began. Your work, supporting your kid’s school work, planning meals, and maintaining the house routine have all fallen on your shoulders.
It’s more important now than ever to “know thyself” and not let go of that thing or two that keep your sanity.
When you protect the time to do what you love, you feel refreshed, appreciate yourself for protecting and others for respecting your time.
You are more patient, calm and understanding to everyone around you. This is how everyone wins!
Let me say this again,
Hang in there, Give yourself a pat on the back and treat yourself!
Why? Because You are doing a great job!
I hope you found this post helpful in finding ways to keep you moving and motivated without feeling defeated and exhausted.
If you’re interested in learning more or want to schedule a time to talk about your specific concerns feel free to contact me for a free phone consultation.
Chisato Komatsu, PhD, BCBA-D, is a licensed psychologist and Board Certified Behavior Analyst at the doctoral level with over 18 years of experience studying and working in the field of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). I utilize evidence-based interventions, which help individuals and parents learn how to take action in their lives to achieve ideal outcomes in a safe, confidential and empathic environment. I work in Culver City and greater Los Angeles area. I am available for telehealth sessions for families throughout CA. Contact me at chisato@littlepineconsult.com or (323) 285-2221 to schedule a free consultation.
